I often get asked about where I get the patience to draw like I do.
Truth be told, I sometimes have to wonder myself, where this kind of patience comes from, since this trait isn't necessarily a strong point of mine.
My drawing style often involves detailed patterns with hatching filled geometric forms, which I love to combine with floral elements, for example.
Then again, over time, I found exactly this detailed way of drawing to be the kind of activity to help me relax and get focused again, especially during stressful times, in general.
It all started with the search of a way to conquer the blank piece of paper lying before me, when I started drawing again, a few years ago.
I just felt the need to fill every little corner of it with color and the more accessible way of doing this was to simply start by splitting the paper into smaller areas through different geometric forms. These smaller areas just seemed easier to manage than the whole sheet at once.
Kind of like “divide and conquer” - a larger task is easier to solve when one focuses on the small steps to be taken in the direction of the solution.
After getting over the insecurity caused by a blank paper, another issue made it’s way to the surface - the fear of making a “mistake“, of accidentaly drifting from the intended geometric pattern in some way, mostly because the small hatching sections I integrate into my artworks are free-hand drawn, without a preliminary pencil sketch.
Especially with large patterns, I would eventually draw a line or (cross)hatch a geometric form some other place than intended and my first impulse would always be to correct it.
After getting pretty annoyed with these slip-ups at first, I soon realized the learning potential it presented - an opportunity to practice patience and "tame" my need of control and strive for "perfection".
The more involuntary discrepancies slipped in the geometric pattern, the easier it got to accept them and just enjoy the results of such "happy accidents".
I finally understood - there are no mistakes, when it comes to art, just different outcomes.
A very valuable bonus to this groundbreaking revelation is the lesson I got in listening to myself and silencing the insecurities that could have kept me from simply doing what I love, out of fear of making a mistake. Instead, I took a step back, faced the problem and understood that I am dealing with some of my defense mechanisms. And that’s Ok.
I am nowhere near to where I hope to be someday in regard to knowing myself and unconditionally accepting every little extravagance of my personality, but I am getting there, step by step :)